Sex in a relationship outside of marriage is a big deal. The New Testament cannot stress enough that sex outside of marriage is horrible. It has a good reason for saying so. I am not saying that sex itself is bad, God made sex and God is obviously good. Sex is a wonderful thing in marriage, without it the human race wouldn't have made it farther than Adam and Eve.
When there is sex outside of marriage then nobody wins except Satan. Lets say there is a teenage couple, they have only been dating a little over two weeks and they have sex. Since they haven't been dating long they don't know as much about each other as a couple that has been married for 10 years. Sex is all they have in common now, so to keep their new relationship in tact they do it again. This relationship obviously isn't going to last very long because neither of them had the chance to have a normal relationship to find out what they have in common and what they don't have in common. All they had in common was sex. Now they break up. Both of their hearts are torn. Sex has serious emotions involved that are special inside marriage, but both of them just threw away those special emotions because of their own selfish desires.
In this sense sex is like a sticker. You can put a sticker on many things but once you put it on something and then put it on something else then it is a little less stickier than before. If someone exchanges sex with several people then by the time that person get married then sex with their partner won't be special at all.
Now lets say that a couple of friends that have known each other for years decide to date. They figure its okay to have sex because they say they are going to get married someday anyway. They do it only every once in a while because they think it reduces the chance of producing a child. Sex is a risk like any other risk, lets say sex is like standing in the middle of an interstate. You may dodge a couple cars but you are going to get hit eventually. So the girl gets pregnant, both of them are scared and they go to the hospital so the girl can get an abortion. Neither of them expects to feel guilty about it, but they do. When you take away a life you remember it for the rest of your life, even if that life isn't out of the womb yet. If you don't believe me then listen to the song Lucy by Skillet, its about a man that got his girlfriend pregnant and his girlfriend got an abortion. They talked to a counselor because of the overwhelming guilt they both felt. The counselor told them to have a funeral for the baby and name the unborn baby. They named the baby Lucy. Its a very sad song. . .
Anyhow, I will use one last example. Lets say that the couple I just mentioned decided not to have an abortion, but to raise the child and be parents. Now they have to quit school to take care of the baby and one of them needs to get a job to support sed baby. Now they are very poor, they either bought a cheap apartment or they are living with a family member. They both had dreams of what they wanted to be. Maybe he wanted to be a singer and maybe she wanted to be a professional dancer. Both of those dreams are ruined. They don't have an education and they can't go to college. Their child will grow up poor and will have to carry the shame of knowing that he (or she, whichever you prefer) was an accident. His parents didn't want a kid, they wanted pleasure.
Premarital sex isn't worth the risk, one moment of pleasure isn't worth ruining your life over. It's one of the stupidest things anyone can do.
God doesn't want you to have sex outside marriage, not because He doesn't want you to enjoy yourself, but because He loves you. Without the sturdy foundation of marriage for sex to rest on then it's a major safety hazard for everyone involved. It seems that isn't taken into account when people joke about sex. If you truly love your boyfriend or girlfriend you will wait to have sex until you get married.
God knows what we deal with. He wouldn't judge us if we were perfect. God knows what we are going through, Jesus was tempted in every way that we are. Resisting sex is a big deal and can feel impossible at times. I would like to include a great quote from C.S. Lewis:
"...those who are seriously attempting chastity are more conscious, and soon know a great deal more about their own sexuality than anyone else. They come to know their desires as Wellington knew Napoleon, or as Sherlock Holmes knew Moriarty; as a rat-catcher knows rats or a plumber knows about leaky pipes. Virtue - even attempted virtue - brings light; indulgence brings fog."
The more you resist your desires, the more you know how to resist them and overpower them. God knows what He's talking about when He tells us to wait until marriage to have sex.
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