Let's start with the old phrase "God is love"(I John 4:7). If God is Love, then everything God does is loving. If we are put on this earth to have a relationship with God then we are objects of His love. This is not the kind of love that wishes us to be happy in our own little way, nor the cold love that merely wishes for our well-being, nor is it the kind of love like that of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests. This is a pure firey Love beyond what love letters can describe or hearts can beat.
When many people speak of love, they speak as if they own the love. We own no love, we couldn't generate an atom of it to save our lives. All of the love we experience pulsates from God Himself. I find it funny how many people reject God while still trying to maintain love. They are pushing Love away with one hand and trying in vain to grasp at it with their other hand.
Let's look at what the Bible describes love as:
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." (Romans 12:9-10, NIV)
Love MUST be sincere. If you pretend to love someone it's pretty obvious to the people around you. Hate what is evil and cling to what is good. If someone commits a sin, it's okay to hate the sin, just don't hate the person who commits the sin. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love and honor one another above yourselves. God is telling us to love each other the way we love our families. This meant even more back when it was written, if we are to fully understand this verse we must understand it the way it was received thousands of years ago. Loyalty to family was a lot more emphasized back then than it is today. Loving someone above yourself is the ideal love that a family should have and the ideal love we should have for everyone. This means you are loving others even when it brings you in harms way. Didn't Jesus love us that way? Didn't Jesus love us like that (and still loves us like that)--to the extent of being nailed on a cross--for us?
That's not all the Bible has to say about love. Love is one of the things the Bible gabs our ears off about--but for a good reason! In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Paul says:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (NIV)
Love is patient and kind, it seems like a no-brainer but it's easier said than done. This means that we must be patient and kind to one another no matter what mood we are in. I don't know about you but I have an especially hard time with that! Love doesn't envy or boast, it is not proud. These are connected, to envy or boast you have to have pride in your heart. Pride is a tricky thing, we all have it, especially when we think we don't. If I have a relationship with you and love you (don't worry, we are just friends!) I'm not supposed to be rude to you and I'm not supposed to use our friendship to my advantage. If you were to smack me right now I am not supposed to get easily angered, nor am I supposed to hold it against you in the future. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. If one of us does something that doesn't honor God, the other person shouldn't go along with it just because we are friends. You should be honest enough to tell me why what I did was wrong and didn't honor God, whether I am a Christian or not (this is assuming you are a Christian and know enough about the moral code to explain it to me). Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. This means we are both supposed to protect our relationship by trusting each other and hoping the best for our friendships future. We should always expect our relationships with each other to be long term. Be committed to your friends, girlfriend or boyfriend, and spouse.
There is a strong misconception about love that many people have. It is the idea that if I love someone, I will do and be okay with anything that makes them happy. I like the way C.S. Lewis explains it:
"I might, indeed, have learned, even from the poets, that Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness: that even the love between the sexes is, as in Dante 'a lord of terrible aspect.' There is kindness in Love: but Love and kindness are not coterminous, and when kindness . . . is separated from other elements of Love, it involves a certain fundamental indifference to its object, and even something like contempt of it. Kindness consents very readily to the removal of its object--we have all met people whose kindness to animals is constantly leading them to kill animals lest they should suffer. Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object becomes good or bad, provided only that it escapes suffering. As Scripture points out, it is bastards who are spoiled: the legitimate sons, who are to carry on the family tradition, are punished. It is for people whom we care nothing about that we demand happiness on any terms: with our friends, our lovers, our children, we are exacting and would rather see them suffer much than be happy in contemptible and estranging modes."
This is what true love is because this is the way God loves us. If God cared about my happiness I would not be a Christian right now, because what I think makes me happy most of the time isn't what God wants for me. God cares about strengthening my relationship with Him, so I can have the only thing that truly makes me happy: Him. Without God none of us have true happiness. If you do truly love someone and care about their happiness, lead them towards Love Himself. When they reach Him, their happiness will be eternally abundant.
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